8 Couple Fights That Aren’t Worth Having
No. 5 should really be a nonissue.
By Cosmo Frank (Cosmopolitan)
No couple wants to get into a fight over something stupid (yeah, there're definitely exceptions). It's one thing to really put yourselves out there, and argue over where you're going to live or if you're ready to have a kid. Life-changing arguments aren't fun, but they're necessary. These eight fights however, are definitely not.
- Whether or not one of you told the other something.
Don't even bother getting started on this. Does your partner claim they asked you to take out the trash? Maybe you reminded them that the new season of House of Cards came out, but they claim they were still in the dark. It doesn't matter. One of you forgot. Either you forgot you were told, or you forgot to do the telling. It's not worth your resources. Communication is imperfect. Our brains are imperfect. Just let this die before it devolves into an argument over which one of you has the better memory.
- Anything that involves friends or family who haven't acted unreasonably. If we're talking friends or family members that are total pieces of shit, this does not apply. But avoid arguments just because you dislike your partner's best friend or mom or something. Unless you've got a real reason to back it up, they're just going to take it personally.
- Being different people with different needs and wants.
Opposites attract. Maybe you're an introvert who'd rather be at home with a book or a show to binge-watch. Your partner would rather go out. You can compromise. The most important thing to remember is that you're not literally attached to each other (unless that's a thing Millennials are doing now). You can compromise and do things together. Who knows, you might even learn to like new things. But your personalities are never going to change — unavoidable truths about each other need accepting, not constant nitpicking.
- Not wanting to go somewhere.
This is not the end of the world. If you've got an office party your partner would rather not attend, or if you don't want to tag along to drinks with his college buddies ... just don't. It's fine. It's that easy. It might not be what you both want, but it doesn't need to turn into a "thing." If they never want to go anywhere you want? Fine, but the occasional desire for staying in is nothing to fight about.
- Hypothetical scenarios.
Don't fight just because your partner would sleep with your best friend if you had been dead for 10 years or whatever insane situation you presented them with. No, they probably shouldn't have answered honestly. But that's also not a fair question to ask. Same goes for things like fighting over baby names when you aren't even trying to have a baby.
- Hobbies or interests, no matter how dumb you find them.
No matter how convincing the argument, you may never understand why people like things like Keeping Up With the Kardashians, or dubstep, or football. You don't have to. If it makes them happy, or if you love it, then it isn't worth making fun of. Let people have their hobbies.
- Things that happened before you even met each other.
You can't get mad at someone for sleeping with or dating someone awful before you even met. You didn't know each other then. You can't get that held against you. If the past ever comes up, just say something like,"Blah, blah, blah, these are the things that shape us and make us who we are and brought us together."
- What you want to do or watch or eat.
If you're one of those couples, set up a roulette wheel and spin it whenever a decision comes up that you can't handle. If you're both indecisive, you need this, or you will eventually starve to death when it comes time to choose takeout.